You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
