I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
