Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize