you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
