she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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