I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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