ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize