I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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