I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
