We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
