Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
