id be glad to
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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