If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
