watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
