After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
