I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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