if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
