when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
