Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
