If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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