so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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