I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
