I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
