just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
