I think I died a long time ago.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
