Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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