ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
