why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize