I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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