Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
