why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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