wakey wakey hands off snakey
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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