there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
