I think I am morally bankrupt
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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