but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
