I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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