My friends, they love my intelligence
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
