Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
