Buhtt sex?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
