5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
