I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
