on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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