I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
