I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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