I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
