I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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