Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize