is your mom at the bar?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
