he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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