Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I love you. Go after that dick
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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