LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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