Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
