You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
