I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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