dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
