I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Are we still banned from the library?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
