Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
