We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
