All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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