Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dicks are not precious.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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